Do you want to be awesome? Of course you do! We all do! But it takes some legitimately cool insider secrets. With these five awesome tips, you can be a certifiably awesome person. You must follow these five steps or else you will always fail to be awesome.
1. Trendy Clothes
If you buy awesome trendy clothes people can start to like you before they meet you and get to know your personality. Hipster fashion predictions for 2013 include colored jeans. Bright colors like purple. I wanted to get some purple jeans but they are only made for really skinny people. If you can’t fit into skinny jeans, wear a cool hat. I’ve never been so fat that my head would not fit into a trendy hipster hat.
2. Trendy words
Don’t use a regular words when talking or texting. Regular is boring. No one likes regular, or logical, or spelled regularly, for that matter. If you want a cool awesome vocabulary you need to watch a lot of MTV on cable, listen to rap music by artists no one knows about, and use the word “SWAG” a lot. If you keep saying “swag” everyone will think you have “swag.” (I’m not sure what swag is but I hear its really cool.)
3. Lose weight
All of the really stylish clothes are made for really skinny people. Have you heard of fatty jeans? No, me neither, but I’ve been looking for them as a replacement for the skinny jeans I can’t fit into. Skinny jeans, especially purple, are the stuff! I need to hit the gym so I can be awesome.
4. Cool friends
Don’t hang out with the losers. Abandon all of your unpopular friends and start being hanging out with the popular people. Just put on some trendy clothes, walk up to them and start talking about swag, you will be friends in no time. If your not-so-cool friends come by, pretend like you don’t know them and poke fun at their Wal-Mart clothes.
Awesomeness is all about how people think about you. So you always want to show them that you have no flaws. Never tell anyone about your mistakes. Instead always tell them how awesome you are. Do this in real life and on the internet. Make your Facebook profile picture super incredibly awesome too. Use a big trendy DSLR camera with a huge lens to shoot it and then use a lot of Photoshop filters. And then post pictures of all the stuff you have so everyone will think you are rich.
Or instead, you can realize the truth
You are weak, but God is glorified in that
You can find your identity in Jesus, recognize you are nothing, and boast in your weakness. “[Jesus] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2 Cor 12:9).
You are not perfect and can do nothing
You can realize it’s impossible to be perfect, and a hell to try and maintain that false image of being perfect, trendy, fit, awesome, and faultless. You can’t do anything on your own.“Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” –Jesus (John 15:5)
You are slowly wasting away like grass
You can remember that your outer flesh is wasting away, and soon enough it will be gone. All your trendy words and trendy actions will fade into dust.“All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls but the word of the Lord remains forever.” (1 Peter 1:24)
You are only a vessel for God’s goodness
You can recognize that if there is anything good about you, if you have ever accomplished anything great, if you have any gift that can be called awesome, it’s not from you. “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.” (1 Cor 15:10)
You are chosen, but not for your attributes
You can look in the mirror to see a wretch who was transformed and a son who was adopted. You can know it’s because of His will, not yours. It’s because of His work, not yours.For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will (Eph 1:4-5)