7 things Christians should consider about gay marriage

christians gay marriage

Government sanctioned same-sex marriage is here. In November of 2012 Washington voters cast their vote on the issue of homosexual marriage. In March 2013 the issue is making news again as the supreme court is tackling two same sex marriage cases. At this moment it appears as if the legal definition of marriage will be changed to remove gender classification. To me this not shocking, nor surprising, seeing as numerous polls predicted such a victory. Throughout the campaign, much was said from both sides, in some cases even slandering the other side as bigots or abominations. Now while some Americans are celebrating, others are posting “America is ruined” to social media sites like Facebook and Twitter.

I am sure there are political and sociological ramifications, as there are with everything, but those don’t change our response. This is a very simple article, that cannot address all of the arguments and issues, so I am only speaking to the fear, anger, and hate I have seen from a few Christians.

1. Christians are called to live at peace with everyone, even if we disagree

The Apostle Paul, speaking to a culture that was more sexually promiscuous than America, with laws that allowed the sexual exploitation of slaves, for straight and gay sex, wrote this: “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” (Rom 12:18) Yet, in the last few hours the online world has erupted with confusion, frustration, fear, and worst of all hate. Some, for example my old youth pastor, Russell Korets, have made very wise comments, stating that “For some, they think “marriage” lost. Wrong. If you want marriage to win, husbands go hug your wife and your children, and BAM, “marriage” wins! Every time there is physical, sexual or psychological abuse in any family – marriage suffers. Anytime there is procreation, love, honor and respect towards each other in family – marriage wins.” Yet, others have flooded the internet with vulgar remarks, aimed at spreading strife, anger, and hate. It is not “Biblical” to cause angry fights with the people you ought to be praying for.

2. Everyone has freedom of religion as a constitutional right.

No one is planning, nor can they without a violent revolution that involves the murder of half this country, take away this freedom of religion. In the Soviet Union, they didn’t have this, they simply killed/jailed Christians with no problem. Yet those Christians did not fear it as some fear today’s election results. The case of the inn in Vermont being fined for rejecting a same sex ceremony happened because the inn is a public business. If you have a business, you can’t reject someone for being gay (that has nothing to do with marriage anyhow). Yet churches, according to our constitution retain freedom. The gay marriage bill in WA state also says (redundantly) that it will “reserve the right of clergy or religious organizations to refuse to perform, recognize, or accommodate any marriage ceremony.” And even if it does, and all of our freedom of religion will be taken away, what then? We will only end up living in a world like the one Paul lived in.

3. Moral changes are not created by Government programs

The Bible says that we are all sinners (every person, including Christians) and the only way to change people is by a process called being “born again.” This happens when God supernaturally changes a person from the inside and they become a “new person.” (That’s why we use the term “born again.” It signifies newness and rebirth.) Government can’t make someone a “new person” only the Holy Spirit can do this. The church should not be in the business of making Laws, but in the business of showing Grace.

4. Christian morals have never been popular in society

No unbeliever fully likes Christian morals. Sure people like some of them, the “don’t steal or murder,” because universally people don’t want to be murdered and robbed. Yet no society in the world has ever liked ALL of Christianity’s morals. Even the nations that appeared to support the outlawing of certain sins, allowed others to run rampant. One nation may reject homosexuality (Russia) but embrace greed, and alcohol abuse. Does rejecting homosexuality make Russia a “Christian nation”? Does it give Russian Christians the freedom of religion even closely parallel to the US? Does it help Russian marriages? No, all of those things are far from ideal. At the same time America considers hundreds of sins as legal and protected rights, yet no one protests something like pornography (the biggest killer of marriages).

5. Christianity survived real persecutions, this is not one

My parents came from the Soviet Union, where, as I am told, my grandparents and even my father, endured real persecutions. My mom told me a story about how the local village government came in the middle of the night try to kill her father because they did not like his faith. Even today, the world is filled with Christians who are boycotted, counted as second class citizens, and in some nations like Iran or India, physically abused or even killed. We are outraged because our nation is becoming more secular but where is the outrage for them?!

6. Christians should not prosecute one sexual sin as worse than another

Quite frankly, yes, I do believe the Bible states same sex acts are sinful, but so are all others sexual acts (or even indulging in fantasies) that are outside of a marriage between one man and one woman. I would estimate that close to 90% of our country is currently involved in some sexual sin. From sexting between teens, to pornography, to adultery and most divorces. All of this sexual sin just as bad, just as damaging to marriage, is fully legal and, eagerly promoted by the evangelists of pop culture. (Those who say homosexual behavior is an abomination should not there is a long list of Biblical abominations, some of which they perhaps engage in Proverbs 6:16-19). It is legal to shoot pornographic films, yet why are we not up in arms? Are abusive pornographers really that much more moral?

7. Christians need to love all people in all situations

We love to hate gay people. A few years back I was involved in a rally in which some people acted with love and others with hate. I respect those who stated their political opinions peacefully, but those that showed up with hate I pitied. Jesus said “I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” By yelling about how much you hate the gays, you are doing the same thing you accuse them of, living a lifestyle radically opposed to God’s word. If the government and culture acts a certain way, even though we don’t like it, we are called to love them unconditionally. We may peacefully disagree, but still love and pray for them. Jesus said “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you “(Mat 5:44). Have we invented a whole third category of people? Those who are even worse than our enemies?

Christianity is not about protesting people away from sin, but loving them towards Christ.

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14 responses

  1. Ugh thank you! This is an amazing reminder to us Christians. I saw so much hate on Facebook and I honestly thought it was kinda funny.

    • In America, everyone can call themselves “Christian”, there seems to be no power or meaning to that word in the US anymore. In nations outside of the US, calling yourself a Christian actually means something, and people are persecuted for it.

      Being a Christian is standing out, not fitting in.

      • please just stop

        What he is saying is that even if you are religous ( in which i am not but I still think his point is valid) you have biblical obligations and constitutional obligations to not persecute gays so the argument is invalid if you say the bible says against gay marriage and such the bible also says that you should also support them. Christianity is not standing out btw. Christianity is the most common belief in america and the is no power in that word because of the first ammendment: “to the United States Constitution prohibits the making of any law respecting an establishment of religion, impeding the free exercise of religion, abridging the freedom of speech, infringing on the freedom of the press, interfering with the right to peaceably assemble or prohibiting the petitioning for a governmental redress of grievances. It was adopted on December 15, 1791, as one of the ten amendments that constitute the Bill of Rights.”


  2. Its not about hate, its what our children will be thought in schools, brain washing that what will happen..
    Parent #1 and Parent #2.. I pray to God for those people and hope they will see the truth.. I dont hate them, I feel sorry for them..

    • You are what is wrong with religion. You set a bad example for Christians. I feel sorry for you the most. You think by fighting the progression of mankind you are special in some way?

  3. We Christians<we know what is that Sodomites and we know whats coming.But we may forget about how JESUS acts with sinners[us all].

  4. God loves all his people, gay or straight. He doesn’t want anyone to change what he created. We were crafted in his image. Being gay is not wrong nor a sin.

    • Concerned Citizen, I would politely disagree with the second part of your statement. When we talk about God, we can do one of two things:

      1. We can talk about God, in the way he said he is.
      2. We can talk about God, in they way we think he is/should be

      Your statement is the latter, and not really helpful. If God revealed himself, and Christians believe he did that through the Bible, then what we think about how he should be doesn’t really matter because its only our assumption and fantasy.

      Regarding “He doesn’t want anyone to change what he created. We were crafted in his image” you are correctly quoting one part of what God said, but missing a very important thing. Humanity fell and corrupted itself. Instead of being selfless, loving, and obeying our creator, we fell to a position where we selfishly love ourselves and follow all of our selfish desires and urges. That is what sin is. According to what God said marriage is created to represent represent a vital truth, how Jesus selflessly loves his bride. Any sexual activity (even fantasy) outside of a selfless marriage between a man and woman is a sin because it is done out of our brokenness. I understand it is done because people simply do what feels right, not because they want to be evil. But following ones feelings is a selfish action, its the action of life for pleasure. And that is sin and brokenness. And marriage is not the cure either, for even in marriage there is much brokenness, selfishness, and pain. The answer is that Jesus Christ took on our brokenness, was punished for it, and those who trust in him receive are fixed. They are not “better” or “holier than thou.” Nor do they have any excuse to boast and judge others. They are like lepers that were cured, and want others who are in the same situation to be cured.

      • If you cannot accept that fact that a person is born gay in the same way a person is born “straight” then you are a lost cause. I appreciate the long response but there is nothing you can say to convince me otherwise. Thinking any other way is turning your back to common sense and scientific fact.

        • I am quite open to the fact that some people don’t choose but simply have same sex attraction (I wouldn’t say “born” with it because babies are not born with any sexual attraction, according to all the developmental psychology classes I have take sexuality develops over time). Again, the issue here is not at all “straight is good” or “gay is a choice.” Those are highly simplistic, and both wrong. Most straight people sin with their sexuality, while there are Christians with unwanted same sex attractions that don’t actualize them and are less sinful. All of us are born with sinful and wrong desires. For one its same sex attractions, for another its a fascination with sex that induces him to seek it everywhere both portray an equally broken humanity.

          In any event, this is never about the feeling that are normal for us. It is normal for me, if you will “I was born with” a desire to sleep with as many women as possible to gain selfish satisfaction. Yet, this is not right or good, and with God’s help I am waging a war on the desires that are normal for me. If I follow those desires they are “sin” just like if someone follows desires to engage in homosexual acts. All of us have feelings, attractions, and desires. Yet, according to Christianity, all of us must follow what God said, instead of our feelings.

          • Though your response had a lot of solid points, this one stood out to me the most:

            “Most straight people sin with their sexuality, while there are Christians with unwanted same sex attractions that don’t actualize them and are less sinful. All of us are born with sinful and wrong desires.”

            For the past few years I’ve always thought “well gay isn’t some kind of special sin, its just sexual immorality, a more ‘popular’ form, it seems”

            and though I never put my thoughts into actual words or really declared them outside of my mind, your response has done that for me and its something that I think more people need to understand.


  5. At the heart of this matter is one theme: what are we pursuing in relationships? Are we selfishly pursuing one another to fulfill the void of being incomplete (which is how we were created) or are we pursuing Christ in our relationships?

    No person, gay, straight, or anywhere in between will fulfill that longing for companionship, regardless if you choose to be married or not (or if there is a convenient label placed on your relationship).

    We need to take some time to think about our relationship with The Lord before we begin to pursue marriage relationships. If this was done, I don’t think we’d be having a debate anymore.

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