“Does God heal a broken heart and relationship totally and finally? I thought I was healed and then as soon as the person who hurt me came back into my life it’s like it all happened all over again. Same hurt same feeling of betrayal. It feels like it will “haunt me for the remainder of my life.. And at the same time I feel like I still have these unresolved feelings for him, I thought I was over him..”
Yes, God does heal a broken heart totally and finally. However, a broken arm takes months to heal, while a paper cut takes a day. Braces can take a couple years to straighten the teeth, while getting a cavity filled, thirty minutes.
Every broken heart is different. Some heal faster than others. Some of us are forced to wear a cast over our broken hearts as God comforts us in the process and prepares our hearts for something much bigger. For some it takes months, for others years, but we can be certain that God is doing work in our hearts. You can be certain that God is healing your heart.
Why doesn’t God just heal you in an instant and take away all pain and hurt? Because God’s ways aren’t ours, His timing isn’t ours and this too, He is working out for your best because He knows what lies ahead. God isn’t as concerned with giving us the American dream as He is with preparing our hearts for eternity, and unfortunately, often, in order for our hearts to be prepared for eternity they have to be broken and humbled, they have to be made sensitive and gentle, soft and beautiful.
I will be the first to admit that before my heart was broken by a boy, it was hard and cold. It was full of pride and false identity. When God allowed a boy to break my heart, I realized that, that which I hoped in was just an illusion. My pride was broken and my heart was shattered. God, by allowing my heart to be broken, blessed me in more ways than I could have ever imagined.
Today, looking back at my life and all the experiences my heart has been through, I thank God most for the times it was broken. Even though then, the days were painful and dark, and often I felt like I didn’t want to go on, now I see the beauty of it. It was my broken heart that taught me to seek the Healer. It was my broken heart that pushed me to the foot of the cross, into the arms of God. It was through the pain of my own heart that I was able to understand the pain I was causing God’s heart.
C.S Lewis once said: “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world”
We are created in the image of God, and if you believe that, then you also believe that our pain is a reflection of His. When we are heartbroken because a boy has betrayed or hurt us, more often than not, it is nothing more than an indicator that we have betrayed and hurt God. By His grace and mercy, God speaks to us in a language we can understand and what language is more dear to a girl than the language of a heartache?
I remember the night, it hit me. The night the reality of my sin dawned on me and the night I understood that my heartache is just a small fraction of a reflection of God’s heartache. My pain is a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of God’s pain. God’s broken heart over the world that so often betrays and sins against Him. God’s broken heart because of me, because I so often sin and betray him, because I choose other idols over Him.
I remember sinking to my knees and crying. Weeping and sobbing over my own sin, over my own guilt because I realized that in His mercy and Grace God allowed my heart to be broken to show me something bigger, something much more important, His own broken heart. It was then, when my heart was broken that I could at least glimpse at the pain of His heart. In that moment, His pain prevailed mine. My hatred for my sin and for what I have done to God prevailed what some boy did to me. My betrayal weighed heavier on my heart than the betrayal of some boy and in that moment I repented for all the pain I have been causing God, and till this day, because of that pain, I still repent.
From that moment on, whenever my heart was reminded of the betrayal a boy had caused me, or when I longed to see him, to be near him, I reminded myself of God’s heart. I reminded myself of the pain I caused God, I reminded myself that God longed for me to seek Him, to read His word, to kneel in prayer. And in time my heartache went away.
Now looking back, the heartaches, the sleepless nights were God sent teachers, sent into my life to draw me to Himself, to speak to my heart, in the end giving me the ultimate joy I would never have found if I didn’t live through the heartaches.
I pray that you don’t waste this heartache of yours, I pray you don’t just let it pass. Instead I pray that you find Christ in the midst of your heartache and that you have the wisdom to hear and understand what God is shouting to you through this pain.
“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world”