Let me preface this by saying I have plenty of experience with this. If you are a dude and you want to attract the ladies this article will be worth your time. When I was younger, one of the biggest preoccupations of my mind was getting girls to like me. It did not help that my closest friends were likewise fixated on securing the attention of the opposite sex. We would often spend our time trying to get into very friendly conversations with young women of the single variety. Taking a trip with the church youth choir meant one thing, a brave new world, filled with many tantalizing young women to explore and document. If was like finding a whole new tribe of girls to meet, talk with, and hopefully attract. Yet it was always “touch and go.” The moment a girl actually fell in love with you or your friend, the only option was to backpedal and consider her clingy.
Throughout some years my male friends and “wingmen” changed (or those to whom I was the “wingman” changed) and others took their roles, but the hunt always remained. Even without talking amongst ourselves we naturally assumed the role of the drive-by hunter. Quickly rush into an area with new girls, sweep them off their feet with our awesome charm, brilliance, humor, and coolness, and later move out in search of greener pastures. There was, of course, some retention time, usually a few weeks or even a few months, but in the end we would abandon one group of lady-friends, and move on to another. Always searching. Always on the hunt. We were good, there were others better than us, but we were good.
Do you want to learn our secrets? Do you want to get young ladies to really like you?
1. Stop trying to get girls to like you
Most young guys are acting out of a strange mixture of raging hormones, manhood identity disorder, and deep desire to be loved. All three things need to be dealt with, but not by plowing through the hearts and emotions of another human being. Yes your body (physiology) wants to be with a woman, your gender identity (sexuality) tells you to be with one, and deep down you have a desire (psychology) to be loved. All those things have a place, but chasing and using girls is not it. Stop this madness, it brings no good. It’s not cool. It’s not fun. And in retrospect, its rather stupid.
2. Start being a one-woman man
Your physiology, gender, and desire for love are created to be fulfilled in a loving monogamous relationship, perhaps one day very soon. Recognize you have real feelings, real desires, real proclivities inside you. But steward and guard those for one woman, instead of splattering them all over the place. Stay hungry to prepare for the greatest meal in your life, don’t walk around and lick everything in the buffet line.
3. Stop being a selfish jerk
As a Christian and a human being your job is to do good to others, not to harm. The essence of good works is selflessness; doing something for benefit of someone other than yourself. If you are chasing girls, you are a selfish jerk. Your primary concern and utmost ambition is getting some feelings within you satisfied. You don’t care about the feelings of others, which you easily bulldoze to make yourself feel good. Selfishness is the ultimate evil. You are the ultimate evil.
4. Start being a gentleman and a brother
In the Bible, the Apostle Paul tells guys to treat young women like sisters (1 Tim 5:2). If there was an arrogant, selfish, young dude trying to seduce your little sister for a bit of temporary satisfaction, what should you do? Smack the hell(fire) out of him! Now look in the mirror, you are that guy. There should be dads and older brothers smacking you! I urge you to radically switch your role from hunter to defender. The heart of being a gentlemen, is protecting girls and women from physical, sexual, and emotional harm. If you want to open a door, you don’t open it to have all the young ladies to fall in love with you, you open it to show your selfless care towards them. If you are selfless you will protect them from everything, including yourself.