“If you have oral sex is it sin? I heard oral sex doesn’t count as real sex and you don’t lose your virginity”
It is beyond the scope of this short post to speak about oral sex in a marriage, ultimately many evangelicals do say yes (1, 2, 3, heck even pentecostal Pat Robertson thinks yes), however, fundamentalists are highly offended at the idea and are quick to slander those speaking about it, so I will refrain from commenting. Furthermore, I am assuming you are unmarried and see oral sex as an alternative to “real sex.” The truth is that oral sex is a sexual act. Anything that involves physical contact with sexual organs falls under the classification of sexual activity and the Bible says nothing sexual, at all, can happen outside of the for the marriage covenant. All sexual activity is created for marriage only, whether its the foreplay or the actual intercourse. While you can argue that oral sex is not penetrative and does not qualify as intercourse it is still a type of sex nonetheless; and all types, kinds, colors, styles, and variations of sexual pleasure are forbidden by the Bible outside of a marital relationship. The Bible says there shouldn’t even be a hint of sexual immorality in the midst of Christians (Eph 5:3). This means that even crude joking or fantasizing about any kind of sinful sexual activity which includes any kind of sex between unmarried people is prohibited.
While in some circles even asking the question is enough to get one excommunicated, the unfortunate reality is that statistics say that over half of all teenagers in America have engaged in oral sex and to our great dismay many of them consider it to be a casual practice. However, the Bible commands us to follow the scriptures not the culture; and the scriptures tell us that even lusting for illicit sexual activity already crosses the line into sin (Mat 5:28). If you think oral sex doesn’t count as sex and therefore is allowed between u, imagine when you get married… would you let your spouse have oral sex with other people? Never! So how could you currently allow yourself to do it with persons you are not married to? Additionally it is possible to be infected with STD’s (sexually transmitted diseases) through oral sex, I think that tells us about the dangerous nature of oral sex when done with someone other than your spouse.
If you have done it in the past, stop , repent, and remain sexually inactive until married. It would also be in your best interest to receive counseling from a godly pastor. The good news for those with any past of sexual sin is that there is forgiveness and hope through the blood of Jesus. You sin can be forgiven, your old/sinful self crucified (Rom 6:6) and your life redeemed and made new (2 Cor 5:17) and you can walk in the newness of life (Rom 6:4). However, beware, if you use the grace and forgiveness of Jesus as an incentive to sin carelessly thinking you can be forgiven anytime in the future, it shows that you think of Jesus worse than the vilest of all sinners who have repented.